It Goes Around
by Arasoi
Summary: Very few feathers remain and the long, hard road is winding down. While Sakura seeks a feather, Kurogane and Fai deal with a visitor they’ve been dreading. What will it take to survive until the end of their quest? SPOILERS!


Title: It Goes Around

Author: Arasoi

Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa and I'm not making any money off this work of fiction.

Pairing: Kurogane/Fai, some Ashura/Fai, as well.

Rating: Let's go with R for violence.

Genre: A lot of angst with a little violence and some gore thrown in for good measure.

Spoilers and/or Warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS! If you haven't read through chapter 125, you WILL be ruined for it. Oh, and there's gore, gay, and probably some cussing, too.

Summary: Very few feathers remain, the long, hard road winding down. While Sakura goes for a feather, Kurogane and Fai deal with a visitor they've been dreading. What will it take to survive until the end of their quest?

Note: Syaoran isn't in this fic because I kind of visualize it as if the "real" Syaoran chose not to travel with the group. I like the new direction in the manga, where **Sakura** is responsible for her **own** feathers.

It Goes Around

"A Vampire? Really, Fai… you were better than that."

Fai didn't bother to reply, having far more important things to worry about than that kick to his self-esteem or defending his honor. Like Ashura's hands around his throat, or Kurogane, who was suffocating in a magical prison only meters away. Besides, he didn't have the energy to argue pointless observations with his enemy. Sakura needed time, Ashura wanted power, and Fai intended to keep them apart as long as he had life.

None of that helped him in trying to keep them alive, however.

He hurt- God, how he hurt. Chii gave only a moment's warning before Ashura had awakened, immediately tracking down Fai. The enormous chamber they were hunting Sakura's feather in shook upon his arrival, and Fai was torn between the urge to protect his loved ones and run like hell.

In the end, it was Fai that had started the battle, since Ashura seemed torn between dealing with his runaway wizard and seeking out the enormous source of power that he sensed. So Fai forced his hand, and brought all of Ashura's wrath and attention to bear upon him. And, of course, where Fai fought, Kurogane fought.

They may have given Sakura a chance, but they were paying for it. The hall had been completely destroyed from the sheer force of their battle, the walls blackened with magical scarring and the ceiling caving in, unable to withstand the power that the three of them wielded. Their bodies weren't doing much better. It was a fight that could easily be called "epic"- one that the Storyweavers of Ceres would have reveled telling in for centuries to come, if they but knew of it.

Fai's attention suddenly snapped back to his former King when Ashura began to stroke his hair, his single eye widening as Ashura's smile- that hideous, hideous smirk- stretched. Fai pressed harder against the cold wall at his back, desperately wishing that he could merge with it.

"You've changed so much, my Little Soldier."

As if to emphasize that very point, his hands ghosted along Fai's body. A light brush across the blue eye-patch that hid a sunken socket, then down to the wizard's mouth, his thumb prying apart the thin lips and sliding in to caress the small, sharp teeth. Ashura seemed fascinated by them, his eyes barely paper-thin slits as they focused completely on his prey's mouth and the thumb nestled within.

Gasping slightly, Fai squirmed, forcing his tired and weakened body to attempt escape… only to experience failure. After all, the battle had been mighty and his wounds were great, and the wall against his back was as unforgiving as Ashura himself.

This reunion was just as he had imagined it would be- all his nightmares and worst fears realized.

Kurogane was going to die, and it was all because of him. His breath started to hitch, and he had to focus to keep from hyperventilating. The grip on his throat tightened- the Ruler of Ceres apparently expecting a struggle rather than a panic attack.

"Unfortunately for you, I have no use for a Creature of Darkness. I had such plans you, Fai…" His handsome face took on a look that bordered on ecstasy before darkening again. "…Now you've robbed me of even my revenge. Executing a vampire is more comparable to pest extermination than true and just vengeance." Fai gave a weak smile, some small part of him glad that he could deny Ashura something…anything.

"…So, Ashura-Ou…you caught me. Now…what…?" He managed to gasp out past the squeezing pressure on his throat. Fai never could help but poke at the hornet's nest, as his time with Kurogane had demonstrated.

Over Ashura's shoulder, Fai could barely see Kurogane, the ninja on his knees now and chest heaving. His fists were no longer pounding on the invisible barrier, but were still clenched, resting there. The vampire's single blue eye sought out Kurogane's red ones, and was caught briefly in their strong hold until Ashura slapped him. Shocked, Fai started, his attention back on his mad captor. "You will not ignore me, Fai Flowright. Not now…not ever."

Fai's brows knitted in confusion as Ashura began to stroke his hair again- he could feel the blood from Ashura's hand matting the strands together. Almost absentmindedly, Ashura murmured, "What now…what now…", considering his wayward magician's question.

"I thought of all the ways I could kill you…but most of them are useless- now that you're a monster." Leaning in closer to place his lips against Fai's, Ashura whispered, "But, really, I don't have to do anything else, do I? That man will die, and when he dies, your only source of food will be gone." Fai choked, gagging on the bitterness of it all.

Pulling away, the dark Mage-King leered down at his subject. "The warrior will die, and then you'll follow, slowly starving to death with no one left to protect you…alone."

Something inside Fai snapped at that, the fear and rage clawing its way to the surface of his being. Screaming, he gathered whatever magic he still had in his reserves and threw it at Ashura…who simply smiled his little smile as his shields re-directed the blond wizard's weak blast to the ceiling. He opened his mouth- perhaps to taunt the feeble attempt- but no words emerged.

Instead, his eyes grew large as blood poured from his mouth and ran down his chin.

Fai leaned hard against the wall, gasping air into his raw, abused throat-finally free. His enemy looked at him with almost the same expression as when he sealed him, on another world and a lifetime ago. Ashura's head lowered as he looked at his stomach- at where the tip of Kuorgane's shattered sword, Souhi, was solidly embedded. Fai released the shard and collapsed, Ashura following him as his knees gave out.

Fai stared in shock and morbid fascination as Ashura's midnight-black hair mingled with the growing pool of blood. The dying king looked to his killer, total disbelief on his face. Fai simply said, "He protected me after all…".

Sparing no more time or attention on his fallen liege, Fai crawled to his companion's side, battered hands over feet as he scrambled over debris from the battle. The invisible barrier that Kurogane was trapped in was only as big as the ninja was, and he was now leaning hard against it. What little breath he had was fogging it as he exhaled in little puffs.

"Kuro-sama…" Fai whispered, putting his palm flat against the shield. Kurogane's lips thinned, his intense eyes speaking volumes to Fai. The blond's long fingers curled into a fist as he started to laugh hysterically. "I…I'm so useless. You saved me again, and yet here I am, unable to save you…to do ANYTHING!" he shouted, his voice hitching as he hiccuped. Tears had started to flow from his good eye as his forehead rested against the prison.

Fai caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and lifted his head to see Kurogane stroking the cage, shaking his head slightly. He started to speak, but the words did not reach Fai, just as Fai's words could not reach Kurogane. Nevertheless, the barrier could not hold back their meaning, and Fai knew what he meant. Not worthless. Kurogane's eyes flickered to Ashura as if to prove his point.

Fai shook his head, torn between crying and laughing helplessly. If only he had a fraction of Askura's magic, even for a moment…

Fai's eye grew as realization hit and an idea began to take form. He felt Ashura, still clinging to life mere meters away, the aura of his power a terrifying thing. Fai closed his eye, considering. It…went against everything that Fai had been taught on Ceres, but…if it meant saving Kurogane…

Fai lifted his face and watched as Kurogane struggled to breathe and decided that there really was no decision to make- only action. Staggering to his feet, he stumbled back to Ashura's side, dropping heavily to his knees. Trying hard to block out the labored breathing below him, Fai pushed Ashura onto his back. Those pain-filled eyes looked up at him with hate.

"There are many, many things that I am not sorry for…but this is will not be one of them. I don't want to do this, but…" Fai's throat seized for a moment "…but you left me with no choice."

Without another word and no time for second thoughts, Fai plunged his fingers into Ashura's eye socket with a shout of despair, ripping the gray-hued orb out. Ashura barely twitched, a strangled gasp his only reaction- further evidence of his imminent death.

Shaking, Fai stared at the organ in his hand. Could he do what needed to be done? Did he have the strength? He couldn't look at Kurogane, not wanting to see the expression on the warrior's face. However, he knew his strength lay there, with the man that had saved him, time and again. The man who had changed him. The man…the man he had fallen in love with.

This man- he would do anything for this man. Even this.

Closing his eye, he slapped his hand to his mouth and swallowed, the nerves sliding down his throat like worms. Gulping, one hand clamped down on his stomach while the other went to his mouth. He burped around the copper liquid in his mouth. _No_!

Breathing heavily through his nose, he fought back the urge to expel his consumption, focusing his mind away from the thought of what he had done- of what it was he had eaten. The minutes passed as he clamed himself, letting the eye settle in his stomach and giving the magic time to sink into his body.

He still refused to look at Kurogane. The thought of what he might see there terrified him more than what he had just done.

Suddenly, agony ripped through his veins. Opening his bloodstained lips in a silent scream, Fai clawed at his hair as the magic stormed into his weakened body. It was…fire and life and hot, pounding blood- like Kurogane's blood on his tongue when he fed, only amplified by thousands and thousands.

Tears leaking down his face, Fai struggled to stay conscious, knowing the magic was his only as long as Ashura was alive. The wound to his gut may have killed him slowly, but the trauma to his eye was sure to have quickened that death sentence. Steeling himself, the mage turned to the magical construction that held his beloved and ripped his eye patch off, revealing a newly knitted steel gray eye.

For the first time in a very, _very_ long time, Fai looked upon Kurogane with two eyes.

Concern. No hate, or disgust, or judgement. Kurogane's eyes stared straight at him, as direct as the man himself, and all they held was concern. A shudder of relief filled Fai. _Really_, he thought to himself, _you should know Kuro-pii better than that by now_.

It was at that moment that Kurogane closed his eyes, the whole front of his body collapsing against the barrier.

"NO!"

Fai's scream echoed in the chamber, and he drew the magic to him- his and Ashura's, merged and becoming one…just as Ashura had always wanted. He saw the weave around Kurogane, could feel the energy holding it together. Reaching out with everything he had, he Grabbed that energy and ripped it apart, far too panicked to handle it with the finesse that magic usually required- consequences be damned.

The power rushed back at him, seeking its caster. It invaded him, overwhelming his already charred channels. The last thing he saw before he passed out was Kurogane's body as it hit the ground.

_Time Passes..._

Fai was tired.

It was the first thing he consciously knew as he clawed his way out of the darkness. Cognition came to him slowly. He knew he was tired…a bone-deep tired that wouldn't be going away anytime soon. And…he_ hurt_. He could feel it throbbing throughout his body, and he hadn't even tried to move yet.

It was the constant, steady pleading of his name that brought him out of the darkness and forced him to pry open his lids. Groaning, Fai blinked, trying to focus on the form hovering above him. It was small and slender, and gave him a feminine impression.

"…Chii?" he croaked, and oh how his throat hurt. No sooner was that thought complete then there something pressed against his lips, and cool, welcomed water eased the ache. He drank as much as he could stand before pulling away with a gasp, finally needing air more than the water.

"No, Fai-san," came a girl's voice. "It's Sakura." Of course it was. The girl was obviously not Chii- Chii was gone. But…why did Sakura look odd? Why couldn't he focus on her properly?

"Wha…what happened…?" he questioned, the small tremor in his voice giving himself away. He was already remembering what had happened- he just didn't _want_ to remember, didn't want to believe…

Sakura chewed on her bottom lip, worrying on it as she glanced off to the side. He couldn't tell if she was looking at something, or if she was just looking away from him. He couldn't blame her for the later. Head down, she began to speak, so low that Fai had to make an effort to hear everything.

"I…Mokona and I found the feather in the upper tower. After retrieving it, we ran back down as fast as we could- we could feel the building shake, and knew it was because of your battle…" Sakura picked up a wet cloth, already stained pink, and began to wipe at Fai's face. He shivered at the cold contact. "We arrived too late to help. Everyone was lying so still…"

Why didn't she look right?

A sinking feeling took hold. Pushing past the pain in his limbs, Fai reached up and felt at his eyes, and felt nothing in his left socket. His eye…no, it was Ashura's eye…

Suddenly, his memories caught up, overwhelming in a tidal wave of information. His head pounded, but none of that mattered as he bolted up straight, forcing Sakura to lean back to avoid being hit.

"Ungghh…Kurogane! Where's Kurogane?" Frantically, he began to look around, unconcerned about the gaping hole in his face. Kurogane was all that mattered. Sakura reached for him, trying to soothe him with motions and words. Didn't she know that he wouldn't be calmed when he didn't know where _he_ was- what had happened to him?

He was just about to climb to his feet and search when arms circled him from behind, causing him to jump.

Not daring to hope, Fai turned to look over his shoulder and to find Kurogane, awake and alive and holding him and it was too much for Fai.

"You…you…" Not able to get anything else, Fai gave up and collapsed against his ninja, sobbing in pain and grief, but mostly in a soul-deep relief. Kurogane stroked his back, tucking the blond head, still streaked with dried blood, underneath his chin. Fai could feel the vibrations of the strong voice as Kurogane spoke.

"I'm sorry. I dragged that sorry carcass out of here- I didn't want you to see him when you woke. I didn't think you'd wake that fast…"

Fai was laughing again, so filled with relief that his body didn't seem to know which reaction to choose. Of course, it was also riddled with wounds. "Ow, ow, ow…" he gasped through his giggles.

Pulling away a little, Kurogane turned Fai so he was facing him and ran his eyes across the mage's body, noting the damage that was already repairing itself. Sakura was suddenly beside them, offering Kurogane the eye patch. With a deep and regret filled sigh, Fai closed his good eye as Kurogane fastened it to his head.

When he finished, Kurogane put his finger under Fai's chin and tilted it up. "Hey," came the rumbling tenor. Fai opened his eye. "You're feeding first thing when we get to the next world, understand?" Fai opened his mouth to protest, to claim that Kurogane needed his blood for his own wounds, but the firm press of Kurogane's finger against his chapped lips stalled any protest he may have had.

"…I already feel better…" Fai protested weakly, which was true. Not that that would change the ninja's mind in the slightest.

Feeling a sudden weight in his lap, Fai looked down to see Mokona looking up at him with tears in his eyes. "Faiiii," he cried, "Is Fai okay now? You were asleep for so long, just like before…"

Fai reached down and pulled Mokona to his chest, taking comfort in the warmth that his little friend provided. "I'm okay, Mokona. A little roughed up around the edges, but I'll be fine." Looking back up at Kurogane, he realized that those words were never truer.

He knew, eventually, what had happened would come back to haunt him. There was no escaping what he had done, and he would have to except it. For now, it was too much, too fast, to take in. However, if there was one thing they had plenty of on this journey it was time. Sliding his hand into Kurogane's, he threaded his fingers with his dark-haired companion's while meeting his worried gaze.

Time enough for everything…

Mokona jumped out of Fai's lap and into Sakura's arms. "Are you ready to go?" Kurogane asked, knowing that his question was a million questions wrapped up and disguised as one, simple one. With one more shuddering sigh, Fai nodded.

"Yes."

And they both knew that this time, leaving would be different. Because it wasn't running, or hiding- it was a beginning.


End file.
